C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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