What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
