Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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