So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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