I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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