every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
