yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
