I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
