Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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