Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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