I cockslap morals
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
