Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
