I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
