I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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