Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
