all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
