While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
