Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize