I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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