the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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