you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
