Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
