I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
