Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
