How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i barfeds in our rink
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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