We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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