Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he puts the penis in happiness.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
