My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
try to milk me bitch
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
