Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
