If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We need to get me chipped asap
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