Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
