bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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