everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
