Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.

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  (515): Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did. http://tfl.nu/9hm6
  Replies (8) Good night (3420) Bad night (482)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.

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  (724): I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/hgte
  Replies (48) Good night (790) Bad night (5774)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny

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  (614): her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny http://tfl.nu/5yjp
  Replies (38) Good night (919) Bad night (4839)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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  (607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/om4f
  Replies (27) Good night (4670) Bad night (1458)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2909) Bad night (881)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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  (770): Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit http://tfl.nu/tode
  Replies (12) Good night (4202) Bad night (936)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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  (606): Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas. http://tfl.nu/5seh
  Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (1344)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

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  (757): We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather. http://tfl.nu/kdej
  Replies (10) Good night (3004) Bad night (620)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?

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  (317): Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now? http://tfl.nu/j3p5
  Replies (9) Good night (2199) Bad night (584)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.

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  (920): PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET. http://tfl.nu/i8hf
  Replies (13) Good night (355) Bad night (1078)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like the wholesome side of you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.

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  (503): I like the wholesome side of you (571): I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots. http://tfl.nu/22ah
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (352)
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  (310): View more from California

  Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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  (310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  JESUS

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  (919): you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered. (1-919): JESUS http://tfl.nu/td1m
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (247)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off

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  (518): Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off http://tfl.nu/hbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.

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  (478): But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/3lii
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (118)

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