I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize