I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.