That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.