they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.