Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cold hands, warm shart.

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  (248): Cold hands, warm shart. http://tfl.nu/a5c8
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (3396)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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  (828): Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us http://tfl.nu/ml7j
  Replies (3) Good night (2738) Bad night (662)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.

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  (315): I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/6xcw
  Replies (15) Good night (6500) Bad night (1114)
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  (916): View more from California

  He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants

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  (916): He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants http://tfl.nu/xfxv
  Replies (46) Good night (13263) Bad night (2064)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

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  (205): I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face. http://tfl.nu/ce47
  Replies (74) Good night (2276) Bad night (8883)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

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  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (791) Bad night (7141)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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  (217): Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak http://tfl.nu/5n5o
  Replies (12) Good night (2354) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people

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  (231): the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people http://tfl.nu/9os5
  Replies (12) Good night (3960) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done

  (760): View more from California

  Victory lap

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  (646): Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done (760): Victory lap http://tfl.nu/nhvd
  Replies (5) Good night (2980) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.

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  (321): It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical. http://tfl.nu/ps02
  Replies (17) Good night (3067) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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  (773): Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are http://tfl.nu/he1z
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (763)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?

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  (250): He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me? http://tfl.nu/sqfj
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.

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  (440): I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me. http://tfl.nu/twlr
  Replies (6) Good night (636) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

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  (903): I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong http://tfl.nu/enrc
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

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  (612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (234)

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