Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(503): View more from Oregon

we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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(707): View more from California

I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

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(817): View more from Texas

Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.

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(972): View more from Texas

I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

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(208): View more from Idaho

The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet

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