life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Randomize
