she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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