No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize