yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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