oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
