forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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