this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
