how can u be prego again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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