Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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