yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
