dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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