If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
