what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
