You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
