i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
