Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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