I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
