Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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