are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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