Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
