at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
