I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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