people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
