who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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