I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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