She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
