I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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