So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
