I think i sorta joined a cult last night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
