Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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