It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
